I'm moving. I have known I would be moving for a long time, but the time is actually here. I will be leaving this house, this neighborhood, my neighborhood FRIENDS, and this place where I seriously, to the bottom of my heart, for reals, was convinced that I would finish the rest of my days. I love everything about it, (minus the busy pot shop at the bottom of the hill). I love the school, the teachers, the views, the park that backs up to our house, our yard, the friendliness of everyone around, the hiking trails, MY HIKING FRIENDS and my house itself. It is official! I'm not a changer! I'm an "ultra sticker!!!!!" I stick to one thing and go with it for as long as possible.
For the longest time, I just pretended like I'm not moving. I feel like I'm betraying this neighborhood and all those in it who were so beyond gracious to our family after Dave died. (I know that is so self centered to think that anyone thinks that much about me moving, but I'm just pointing out how ridiculous I get about moving). The thought of going through my house and handling all of Dave's things again and deciding what to save and store for the kids and what to let go of, feels overwhelming, to say the least. Leaving Dave's tree we planted in the backyard is a topic of conversation among Spencer, Leah and Macie, lately. And even fixing up this house and making the decision on whether to sell or rent this place, just feels all so UGH! And the list goes on.
BUT . . . . . . . I was getting ready the other day, when, and I'm not kidding, the words, "New wine, goes in new wineskins," came into my head. I don't even know if I was thinking of moving before I heard those words, but I sure was thinking about it after I heard those words. It has really been a game changer for me. I went and read the passage in the Bible about this whole business.
Matthew 9:16-17 - "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."
Maybe I'm just making nothing into something, but maybe, just maybe the Lord really did speak to me. It kind of feels like it. First, I feel like it gave me a bit of a warning against trying too hard to fit the new into the old, (because I'm an "ultra sticker"). Second, it has given me an excitement for the move that I didn't have before. Now, I have this sense, that over time, as we pour our family into new wineskins, He will create something intoxicating. Maybe that is a weird word to use, but I mean it in a good way.
I know that in the parable above that Jesus is trying to teach the disciples that the Pharisees need to let go of the old way of thinking and the old traditions. That could not have been easy for those dedicated Pharisees to let go of what they felt was right and what they perfected and dedicated themselves to and for which they sacrificed, in the name of God, even! There is obviously nothing wrong with remembering Dave and helping my kids to remember him, but I have to remember to balance that with honoring my new family and looking for all the hope in the new. I still don't know exactly how to do that, (as evidenced by the fact that I still can't quite full on change my last name across the board), but I feel like the change in my attitude towards moving may be a step in the right direction.
There truly is a lot to look forward to with this move. The house is turning out (it was a remodel job) beautifully. All the kids will be on the same floor and have their own rooms. We will have a big yard in the front. We have a little barn for chickens and potentially other animals. The neighbor across the street has five kids. The other neighbor across the street is a sweet widow and we cried with each other within about six seconds of meeting (I love emotional people). I think I'm pretty excited about the school they will be attending. It is close to the Shops at Briargate and Sprouts! We will be able to host visitors, host dinners, host parties, host Wyldlife and Younglife Clubs in the future. And Tony can make some great meals in our new kitchen!!!!!! But more than any of those, I am excited to have this feeling or experience that God is saying "wait and see what I will do with your family in your new wineskins." BTW - This is the first that Tony is even hearing about any of this. For all he knows, I'm still not moving. Although, he probably knows something is up, because I actually offered to help paint the trim in the new house over the last couple days. It's weird how I can write my feelings for hundreds of people, but it's hard to talk about them with the ones that I'm the closest too. Any other bloggers experience this? Anyway, that is not the point of the post.
Is there anywhere in your life where you feel like there are new wineskins waiting to be filled with new wine?
Megan's Take: Oh my gosh! I seriously LOVE this post. It beautifully encapsulates the good and the hard about the path of life and the necessary (often hard) changes that come our way. Not to mention, the verse about "new wineskins" has been a "God-is-speaking-to-me-verse" ever since it came my way from a friend about three years ago. And you bring it up today! I know without a shadow of a doubt the Holy Spirit was speaking to you.
I'm sure the tears will flow as you turn off the lights and lock the front door on Crystal Hills, but I pray the intoxicating aroma of Christ envelops you as you tumble into the new home. Honestly, if we are constantly pushing into the new life that God has for us, we'll probably need to be changing wineskins more than once! I pray for that awareness and vision today. We should always be looking for the new wine because it means we are transforming into the new creations Christ intended us to be. Hopefully it's a smooth red Zin. Those are my favorite. (PS -- Major shout out to hosting Young Life in your house! Not that I'm partial or anything.)
my favorite part of this post is the part where you talk about how many meals Tony is going to make at the new house. LOL.
But seriously, I love that you have turned a bit of a corner here and have started to look forward to this new chapter in your life.
Change is hard. Change is SO hard. It is so difficult to picture something in the future that you don't know about yet. And meanwhile you have all the great memories of the past.
All I know is you are not alone as you journey into the new. ..
and while I'm at it, I am requesting in advance a nice glass of red wine with a nice pasta dish perhaps - made by Tony, of course.
Love to your whole crew with the new address!